You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize