I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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