Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
