My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
