Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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