I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have fence marks all over my body
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
