i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize