So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
