Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
