If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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