roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize