Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
