your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
