So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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