Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
dude. I can hear the air.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
