hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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