that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
