yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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