so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
