Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
