Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
