i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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