There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
