she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
