Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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