Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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