Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Small penises have feelings too.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
