I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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