if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
