is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
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Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
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u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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