Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
