Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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