the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize