I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize