all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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