Just fell off a train. Bad.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
