yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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