Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
