dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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