am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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