Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
