either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm at about main and main street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
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