Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
