her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize