So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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