he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
