What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize