There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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