I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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