You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do vagina's smell?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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