he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
