There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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