I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Pooping to opera.
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