I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Do vagina's smell?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
