we're blogging at a bar
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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