I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
