Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
